Thursday, September 30, 2010

Black African Hair: Things you should know

I have spent my life being pulled around by my hair. If I let it be and grow out naturally only disaster will prevail. I have had to plait it, iron it, straighten it, bond it, weave it, braid it and endure long hours and large amounts of money just keeping it sane. It has become such a problem that I often find myself thinking about what should I do with my hair every time I go on holiday, or a wedding or when I leave the house?? You are probably wondering what I am talking about.

I am a black African woman, born and bred and my real natural hair is as wild and untamed as the genetic gene that designed them. It's black, tight and curly and impossible to comb in normal conditions. It's my constant struggle to keep it under control. It's not fair, cause Caucasian men and woman have soft, finger running hair that flows ever so gently in the wind. Mine, neither moves nor is it finger running and even when it is all done and looking good my man knows; Don't ever touch a black woman's hair... Ever!

Tip 1: I just spent two and a half hours in the hair salon. I don't you being all romantic and creative with my hair.
Why is there so much drama about  black African hair? 

Tip 2: If you have ethnic hair you know what I'm talking about. If you don't, welcome, because I am about to tell you, everything
1. What is black hair?
Black hair, obviously, Black African hair (we'll call it ethnic hair for the purposes of our discussion here) also tends to be porous, which means that moisture easily passes through the cuticle layer of the hair. You see, since ethnic hair tends to be coarse, the cuticle layer of the hair shaft tends to be raised, which means that even though it can readily absorb moisture it also loses moisture easily. Because of this, ethnic hair needs more assistance to stay healthy.There exists a billion dollar industry that produces ethnic hair care products specifically for people with ethnic hair. Typically, ethnic hair is not naturally soft and moist. Instead, it is dry and brittle.Where as European hair can benefit from an occasional oil treatment, it can quickly become oversaturated by oils and be left lank and flat. On the other hand, Ethnic hair needs these oils to protect the hair. The oils provide a sealing barrier to hold in the hair's moisture, and keep it soft and manageable. 
Tip 3: So my dear readers don't ask your colleague why their hair is oily. Its just conditioned...but if it is drenching in oil like a bad Rick James video. It's time to intervene. This is not the 80's.
2. Why I straighten my hair? 
The View: Why don't black women wear their natural hair?

Tip 4: It is by choice.

I would love to have my hair in it natural condition, living freely on my head and being one with the universe but its not going to happen. Ethic women can wear their natural hair in all kinds of ways that keep their hair healthy, natural and manageable. I have very fussy hair so I have to use a chemical relaxer to straighten my hair in order for it to be manageable. Chemical relaxers are strong formulas that break the disulfide bonds of the hair allowing it to lie straight. Common relaxers contain strong alkalis that can swell the hair up to twice its normal size, and with hydroxide relaxers the bonds that are broken are permanently broken. Soft curl perms are processes designed to make the natural curl of the hair larger. Both relaxers and soft curl perms are very hard on the hair. Heat styling is another process that is especially hard on Ethnic hair. The curling irons, flat-irons and straightening combs commonly used can use heat as high as 400 degrees. Even dryers used for straightening use sufficient heat to leech much of the needed moisture from the hair. I wish there was a way I wouldn't have too but its what I do.

3. How did your hair get so long?
Tip 5: Don't ask your colleague this question. You know why it is so much longer than you saw it last week. "Your hair looks great!" is all you need to say. 
Men and women around the world wear extensions in their hair. Extensions make your hair longer, thicker and more desirable to your liking. But, not all extensions are the same. There is gluing, clamping and braid-ins and plug-ins. (there are probably more). I have a weave in. Weave in is not adding more hair to my existing hair. It is a method where you first plait all my hair into one long circular structure then you sew in the extensions. The extensions cover all of my own hair (giving it a break from chemicals) and the extensions act as my flowing, manageable hair for the existing period of time. Giving me a break from my constant bad hair days.

4. Why do you change your hairstyle so often?
Same reason that you visit the salon; to dye your hair blond, or cut it or style it. We want to be unique stand out of the crowd and wear the crowns of our heads proudly.

Hair style is the final tip-off whether or not a woman really knows herself. ~Hubert de Givenchy, Vogue, July 1985
African women do it with more... extravagance. We can do anything with our hair naturally, chemically weaved, braided and hot ironed. A couple of hours here and lots of money spent later, I could have the choice to have my hair as free as Erykah Badu's hair or as bountiful as Kim Kardashian's hair. Anything is possible. We are all proud of who we are and want to look good when ever we put our best foot forward.

Now you know a little bit more about about ethnic hair and I can't wait to hear about your hair woes or aaah!
Tip 6: Hair is in the mood. Flaunt it!
 My real hair color is kind of a dark blonde. Now I just have mood hair. 
- Julia Roberts 

What is your mood? 

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Inner Peace

Stress, hate, love, no love, want love, want money, want more. It never ends. The constant questioning and the constant searching for that "something" inside of us has heavily being sitting in our hearts since we where children. It is like the missing pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that we are forever searching, ever wondering where and what it could be. Questions...but never any immediate answers. Sometimes we have to switch off the voices in our heads that doubt, that hate, that fear, that question all things and fights all possibilities for change. If you life is full of stress, problems, and pain, your mind has been running the show for far too long.
By stopping the mind, you master it and essentially master your life! Even when the mind is 50% mastered, you'll see you have more clarity, freedom and inner peace in your life. You'll discover that every experience is trying to teach you something. That the ultimate lesson is how to be supremely happy, joyful, loving and free!  

Often the lesson that we first need to learn, is to find inner peace. How to stay calm and clear and be present with "right now". Where we stop fighting life and start learning our lessons! The greatest lesson that we are INCREDIBLE  human beings that contain the greatest source of love, joy, and peace.

I am no master of meditation but I find it necessary to take the time to reflect on me. To be quiet inside myself so that I can have the patience and time to listen to my inner self. The part of me that knows better. It know that all my questions are not important and what is important is stop the battle of who I want to be and who I really am. That is my true ultimate quest and it seems to continue to reflect itself back at me; Girlondaloose, moving countries, making movies, questions-answers ect ect. You may be on a differnent journey of your own. Learning and developing something new inside yourself but what I am certain of is that; we all looking for Love, Peace and Happiness.  

Watch video


1. Be still
Take the opportunity to be still or at least do something positive. The problem is the mind feels insecure unless it has something to occupy it. However, when we really can attain a clear mind we discover it creates a genuine sense of happiness and inner peace.

Control your thoughts
It is our thoughts that determine our state of mind. If we constantly cherish negative and destructive thoughts, inner peace will always remain a far cry. At all costs, we need to avoid pursuing trains of negative thoughts. This requires practise. – We cannot attain mastery of our thoughts over night. But, at the same time we always have to remember that we are able to decide which thoughts to follow and which to reject. Never feel you are a helpless victim to your thoughts.

“If you have inner peace,nobody can force you to be a slave to the outer reality.”- Sri Chinmoy
3. Simplify your life 
Modern life, places great demands on our time. We can feel that we never have enough time to fulfill all our tasks. However, we should seek to minimise these outer demands. Take time to simplify your life; there are many things that we can do without, quite often we add unnecessary responsibilities to our schedule. Do the most significant tasks, one at a time, and enjoy doing them. To experience inner peace, it is essential to avoid cluttering our life with unnecessary activities and worries.

. Spend time to cultivate inner peace Every day we spend more than 8 hours a day to earn money, can we not find time to spend 15 minutes to cultivate inner peace? No matter how much money we earn, it cannot bring us inner peace, but, if we spend 15 minutes on meditation and relaxation techniques inner peace can become a possibility. Meditation does not just mean sitting still for 30 minutes; in meditation we seek to experience a state of consciousness which is flooded with inner peace. To experience this inner peace we cannot allow any thought to enter into our mind. True inner peace occurs when we can transcend the world of thoughts.

“You cannot buy peace; you must know how to manufacture it within, in the stillness of your daily practises in meditation.”- Paramahansa Yogananda

5. Be immune to Flattery and CriticismIf we depend on the opinions and praise of other people, we can never have inner peace. Criticism and flattery are two sides of the same coin. They are both the judgements of others. However, we should not allow ourselves to be affected by either. When we do, we feed the ego. We should learn to have confidence in ourselves. This does not mean we will love ourselves in an egotistical way, it means we value our real self and have belief in the good qualities that are part of everyone.

Be Active selflessly
Inner peace does not mean that we have to live a life of a hermit. Inner peace, can be felt amidst dynamic activity. But, this action should be done with selfless motives. When we serve others we forget our sense of self, and it is when we forget our limited self that we can have inner peace.

Avoid Criticising Others
If we want inner peace, we should feel that our inner peace depends on the well being of others. If we are indifferent to the feelings of others, then it is impossible to have inner peace for ourselves. What we give out comes back. If you offer a peaceful attitude to others this is what we will see return.

Shared by: Seven Simple Step to Inner Peace

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


J'adore my new pairs of heels.
Fetish. Nothing like a good healthy fetish that gets your heart racing and your mouth stretching with glee, cheek to cheek with blissful happiness.
Karen Millen Extravagant frill satin

Shoes. J'adore. You are never too fat, too thin, too bloated (maybe swollen) to wear a good pair of shoes. Their are like your royal servant only there to make you look good and make you feel like a princess. Nothing like a great pair of designer heels; I say designer heels because you can wear a 9 inch heel in designed pair and feel like you're walking on cloud 9. Sex oozes out of you and confidence... sublime. That's how a great pair of shoes makes me feel. My latest pair of shoes are so special to me that I could pour tea in them and sip, ever so slowly. : )

           What's your fetish?

Monday, September 27, 2010

Life Mantra

Read it, love it, print it, frame it, laminate it, paste it, file it, memorize it, know it, show it, share it, sing it, hum it, dance on it, pray for it, steal from it, practice it, want it, need it, hold it, cherish it, burn it, wash it, live it, be it what ever you do learn from it.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Learn how to let go

We’ve all been hurt by another person at some time or another — we were treated badly, trust was broken, hearts were hurt. And while this pain is normal, sometimes that pain lingers for too long. We relive the pain over and over, and have a hard time letting go. Letting go is the process of accepting what’s happened or happening and move on. It is never easy cause we spend our time convincing ourselves that everything is alright when we know in our loneliness what our soul whispers to our heart. We get trapped in a cycle of anger and hurt, and miss out on the beauty of life as it happens.We need to learn to let go. We need to be able to forgive, so we can move on and be happy.
“Change is never easy, you fight to hold on, and you fight to let go.” – The Wonder Years

Some areas are easy to let go of. In some other areas it is difficult but possible with the right effort. In others, it is not possible the way we are right now, but we can prepare for it. Even when it is very challenging to let go, we can prepare by letting go around the edges, not attacking the craving directly at first. Sometimes by chipping away at the outside, we can work our way to the middle, eg, paying attention to the fear of the fear, as opposed to going directly into the fear. We need to understand, study, how to let go, and also for the heart to appreciate letting go. Forgiveness can change your life. Forgiveness does not mean you erase the past, or forget what has happened. It doesn’t even mean the other person will change his/her behavior — you cannot control that. All it means is that you are letting go of the anger and pain, and moving on to a better place.

It’s not easy. But you can learn to do it. It is important to understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy ways of letting go.

The 4 unhealthy ways of letting go:

1. Unnecessarily letting go of all of all your money, or sexuality making yourself suffer unnecessarily when it is the clinging of the object which is the problem, not the object.
2. Letting go out of duty, obligation, or excessive politeness.
3. Self sabotage  "I don't count", self-diminishing, self-effacing way of letting go, eg, I do not really deserve that chocolate.
4. Letting go out of hate, or fear, eg, letting go of desires.

The 4 healthy ways of letting go:

1.  Letting go of something, eg, conceit, identity, fear, clinging to chocolate . . . 
2. Letting something be, ie, letting go of movement of not letting things be, of our taking agency; letting to be yourself; finding a place of stillness within our awareness;
3. Letting something in, ie, to trust, to not resist, to let in what we are holding off at bay, eg, sorrow, suffering, love; letting go of resistance
4. Letting go into something, eg diving into a pool; calm and peace
One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us.” – Michael Cibenko
And always remember what ever may happen in your life you have a choice to change your situation. You always have the choice.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Ingrid Koch: Me year

I think that at the moment I embody ‘Girl on the loose’. I am a nomad with nothing much more than 20kgs in a bright red backpack, a rather heavy Lonely Planet Guide to South America and a dream of exploring this amazing continent and meeting some of its fabulous and diverse people.

Parque Nationales Los Glacieres
Until the middle of March this year (2010) I was an environmental consultant with a large international firm in South Africa. I liked aspects of my work, but for nearly a year I had been planning on giving up the stress and strain of the 8-5 life (which was NEVER just 8-5) and going exploring for a while. I felt that there had to be something more to life, but I was feeling a little lost about what I wanted to do and where I saw myself heading, both from a career and personal perspective. It dawned on me last year that I was in the unique situation of being debt and obligation free and had no one to think about except myself – WOW!!! How often can we say that in life? So despite many fears, doubts and anxieties I knew I had to make the most of this time in my life and thus I started trying to learn Spanish, saving up money and dreaming about exploring the mountains and jungles of the New World.

Was I crazy? Probably…
Was I scared? Definitely...
Did I think of backing out? Many times…
But I got on the plane, ready for my ME Year– I vowed that this year I was going to take every opportunity that came my way, live and appreciate every moment and just see where life took me…

Yesterday I marked exactly 6 months of my South American journey and all I can say so far is that it has far exceeded everything I expected and wanted. I started this journey hoping that somewhere along the way my life path would become clear and I would know what I was supposed to do with my life. I am still waiting for the lightning bolt of inspiration and I know that it probably won’t happen in the way I am expecting it to. But I can say that I have grown from each and every experience I have had so far – as a person and definitely as a woman.

'Girlondaloose' asked me to share my story. I wanted to share some lessons I have learnt so far on this adventure. None of what I say below is going to be anything you haven’t heard before, but hopefully I can give a different perspective on it and add some personal experiences and MOST importantly inspire you to get out of your comfort zone and live your life as you have always dreamed of doing…no matter how scary and daunting it may seem!

1.  Take every opportunity that comes your way, even if it seems scary and takes you into the unknown
I was put in touch with a guy from Belgium who was traveling through Argentina in a 35 year old Citroen. He needed ‘co-pilots’ to share the journey with him. But I don’t know this guy at all…what if he is a psycho…what if we don’t get on…what happens if the car falls apart on us since it is so old… doubts and fears and concerns were racing through my mind (as well as the minds of my family back in SA). But in the end I did it and I can honestly say that my 7 week (and nearly 2000km) road trip through Patagonia was the biggest highlight of my trip so far. I can’t elaborate more here, but you can read the details of the adventure on my blog
So go for it – take that opportunity or make that change that you have been thinking about for ages! If it doesn’t work out the way you want it to, then you pick yourself up and start afresh, BUT, if it does work out then who knows where you will end up… and that is the exciting thing!
Me with the 35 year old Citroen at the end of a grueling
 stretch of remote dirt road in Patagonia, Argentina.
We both survived, although she was a little worse for wear…

2. Don’t be afraid to have to learn a new language
Girlondaloose can agree with me here, that it is very daunting to move to a country that doesn’t speak your language. Never again will I take for granted asking something as simple as “where is the bus station?” or “Do you have any milk?”…because so often in the last six months I have worked out exactly what I wanted to say in my head and managed to communicate it clearly enough, only to then have no clue what the person replied because it was said at warp speed or with a strange accent. I have had many occasions where I have been very frustrated at not being able to communicate properly and when I have felt totally inadequate and lonely because I couldn’t understand everything going on around me. But I have had many triumphs too and moments where I have been so proud to have had a decent conversation in another language. There is no greater skill to have then being able to speak other languages and I think this is a skill we lack desperately in SA. Six months in, I am not nearly fluent, but I can survive and every day I learn a little more and I embrace the challenge of a new language with as much enthusiasm as possible.
So, never let something like a language stand in your way of doing something or going somewhere. As humans we are incredibly adaptable and will always find a way to communicate, even if not with standard words!

3. Travel alone at some point in your life
99% of my travels around 5 continents have been alone. Many times I have been asked why I travel this way and if I am not lonely all the time. The answer is definitely NO! Where ever I have gone I have met like-minded, amazingly interesting travelers and shared great experiences with them all. And by traveling alone you have to be able to put yourself out there and say “Hi, I’m Ingrid, where are you from?” and that way get to meet people. This definitely takes you out of your comfort zone of familiar people, but it is so worth it in the end. I am never actually alone unless I want to be…there is always someone out there waiting to be met…and even if you hardly have a common language with which to communicate you can still enjoy each other’s company
So travel alone at some point in your life (even if just for a weekend away) – give yourself time to explore YOU.

4. Climb every mountain – whether physically or metaphorically
Life is always throwing challenges at us and sometimes we don’t think we can overcome them and succeed. Often the obstacles seem as huge as a physical mountain. During my road trip through Patagonia I got to hike or attempt to hike up a few different mountains. These were some of the most difficult and steep hikes I have ever done (even though I have done a fair amount of hiking in Africa, it has not been in massive mountain ranges like the Andes with snow etc). The first couple of mountains got the better of us due to bad weather and I mean really bad – gale force wind, driving rain or snow, knee deep snow to struggle through and icy cold conditions. So on two occasions we had to listen to what the mountains were telling us and accept that we were not going to get to the top. Then we were blessed with amazing weather for 10 days in Bariloche, Argentina and thought that this was our time to succeed. After three frustrating days we got to the top and had the most amazing 360 degree view of the Andes stretching all the way into Chile. The feeling of triumph was amazing.  we then looked around and found another peak just a short distance away that we realized they were also climbable and so two days later we were back and attempting that higher, more dangerous and even less well marked trails. My excitement at getting to the top of that mountain was immense, but my relief at getting back down again in one piece was even greater.
While I have described physical obstacles like mountains here, they are great examples for how we need to tackle any problem in life. We could have given up after not finding the trail the first day, but we kept trying and in the end we succeeded. And it was SO worth it. So even when the going is tough and all you want to do is turn back, give it one last push and see what happens. Enjoy your successes, but always stay motivated with new goals and aims in life. Once one mountain has been conquered, find the next challenge to keep life interesting.  
On the top of Falso Granitico

5. Don’t be afraid to cry or show weakness and value the friends and family that help wipe the tears away
As a woman traveling alone, I am always conscious of appearing as if I am in control and that I know exactly where I am going and what I am doing, even if I have absolutely no idea. This is a vital survival mechanism in foreign and unfamiliar places. But it can get very tiring. Sometimes you just have to have a day when you don’t feel great or are a little homesick or missing the familiarity of friends, family or your city and home. When people see photos of my travels and hear the stories, it is always the happy ones and the amazing memories etc…never the crap days when you hated the language or the people or just couldn’t understand why things are the way they are in that country or were tired of lugging all your worldly possessions around on your back and wanted to stay in a comfy quiet room instead of a hostel dorm with three snoring males…you get what I mean. Traveling is an unbelievable gift and opportunity to broaden ones horizon and see the world from other perspectives…but some days you just have to cry and feel down. And that is when it is so important to have those special friends and family who are only an email or skype chat away to lift your spirits again. Here is where I have to say a HUGE thank you to my mom, Melissa and Jen for being the pillars I can lean on even if from the other side of the world.
So while we all aim to be strong, independent and driven women, some days we just have to realise that we are only human and can’t do everything, not for ourselves and certainly not for everyone else. So on those days when all you can do is cry or be down about whatever, phone a couple of girlfriends, meet them somewhere with a bottle of wine and treasure the fact that there are special people around you to help pick you up again…and if you can’t do this in person then remember that a few words in an email or a quick phone call are always valued by friends no matter where they are in the world.

Smile, laugh, cry, scream, jump up and down, celebrate, hug, love, be peaceful, be loud, but most importantly…LIVE…we only get one shot at life and there is no rewind button!!!

Shared by Ingrid Koch

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Millionaire attitude: Think Rich

Everybody wants to be rich. We think about, we imagine ourselves being rich, we sing about in our showers winning Oscars and Grammy's on top of it. They say rich is the company you keep.

Model the Millionaire Mindset

When the rich spend time with other rich and successful people they are also influenced, but in a positive way. They feed off each other and model each other to become even more wealthy and successful. They can exchange positive ideas and opportunities rather than moaning and complaining. People with a millionaire mindset do not associate with people that are negative and pessimistic. They try to surround themselves with others that have a mindset of success.

Millionaire Mindset Attitude

“If they can do it, I can do it”. The millionaire mind is an inspiration to others that are working on developing their millionaire mindset.The quickest way to a millionaire mindset is to spend time with positive and successful people. Model them and pay attention to their thoughts habits and qualities. You can learn much from others with a millionaire mind. The more time you spend modeling the rich, reading about the rich and associating with the rich the much better the chances of you becoming rich and successful. They have done what you want to do, so learn from them anyway that you can.

The secret to getting rich is that there IS no secret. There is, however, a commonality that rich people have which can give us a clue to how they did it.
It's called WORK.
Sure, there is the occasional overnight success. It's true in the entertainment industry and in business. And there are also those who are rich due to inheritance. Unless you've got a rich Uncle Vinny set to leave you ten million dollars I think it's safe to move past that option.

The truth is that most wealthy people got there because they had a dream, believed in that dream, equipped themselves to carry out their vision and ACTED on their dream without ceasing.

You could go down the list of financially successful people and you'll find that many of them have had tremendous failures. But they got back up again and kept pursuing their dream.

It's work.

It's Work.

It's WORK!

And it's usually very HARD work.

People usually start any inspiration on high spirit and good will but it quickly dies down because we don't get instant success. I call this the doom of the MTV NOW NOW generation. Patience is our lost virtue, something I suffer from.

In the free world, it is your right to do whatever you want with your aspirations (within the law). And if you want to squander your time and let your dreams die on the vine, that's your choice.But it doesn't have to be that way.And I don't believe we were designed to live that kind of life.

Are there any guarantees that your hard work will turn to riches?

Nope. And anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something.

But, I can guarantee this...

If you dare to dream, choose to believe in your dreams, prepare yourself to do what is needed to make them a reality and take steady, repeated, unrelenting action to reach your dreams, you will grow in ways you cannot imagine.

Ideally, your bank account will grow.But even if it doesn't, you will grow as a person. Some of the biggest lessons I have learned in life have not come from the happy endings, but through adversity.

It's not a secret, my friends.

It's not magic.

We want to believe their is a pill we can take to shower financial success down on us, but the truth is as plain on the nose on your face.

If you've got your big dream, it's time to pursue it.

If you don't have a big dream, or are unsure that it is the way you should go, I recommend reading The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson. It will inspire you and bring clarity to your dream.

Believe in your dream with everything you've got. Surround yourself with others who believe in you. Don't let the naysayers make you stray from your course.

Learn all you can about the task before you, but don't worry about knowing it all. Some of the best learning experiences happen along the way.

And then, take action.

Then take more action.

And keep taking action until you reach your goal.

It's simple, but not easy.

But you CAN do it.

What are you waiting for?
Leave your comments below I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
The shared thoughts of Joel Comm

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Car- Free Day!

I love to run... but not too long. Twenty minutes is enough for me. I love to run in the forest near my place. I love the feeling of my lungs burning in the fresh morning air. I love running alone. It is my time to clear my head and start the day. This Sunday was NO- CAR DAY. All the people of Brussels prepare themselves to be relieved from their vehicles and enjoy public transport such as trams, buses and taxis. Some of us take full advantage of the day, to be kings of all the main roads. I am talking about cycling for 45 minutes to the city from my residential establishment all the way to city centre. Just for the pleasure of being outside and not be hassled by blood thirsty drivers who want to run you over for bonus points.

Groups of friends and family filled the street. Fully anticipating the joys of sharing laughs, food and drinks at theirs destination. It was amazing! My partner, who neither runs or cycles or even thinks about exercise was a keen trooper as he prepare himself for a week, for this special day. Surfing the internet for the best foldable bike with high performance and light weight alloy. I had to endure long night time discussions about which bike he would choose along with all the impossible jargons about a bike he fell in love with. At the end it was worth it. Cycling back at 19:30 in the evening, tired, broken and content. I felt great. I felt like a million dollars. I surely felt that I had gained some extra years of my life. Living healthier than I would ever imagine in Belgium compared to South Africa, definitely cycling my way to better health.
This is my bike when you fold it.
This is his high performance bike, unfolded.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Waking up early: 4 Easy steps

"It is well to be up before daybreak, for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom." -Aristotle

Are morning people born or made? I am neither born or made to wake up early in the morning. I am grumpy to rise and grumpy to sleep. I obviously need a more positive way to begin and end my present day. Waking up early is a productivity method of rising early and consistently so as to be able to accomplish more during the day. This method has been recommended since antiquity and is presently recommended by a number of personal development gurus. Within the context of religious observances, spiritual writers have called this practice "the heroic minute," referring to the sacrifice which this entails.

Living with such discipline obviously creates great character in an individual and helps you begin the day with a relaxed and ready attitude. I would like to experience more days when I wake up early in the morning. I feel as though I am able to accomplish all the things I have to do in a day. Waking up easy and taking it slow gives me time to have breakfast, enjoy the peace of the break of day and the time to reflect my thoughts on all the goals I would like to achieve for the day. I have come up with four, yes only four easy steps because it is all I can remember just before I go to bed and when I get up in the morning.

4 Easy steps to waking up early.

“Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.” Benjamin Franklin

1. Go to bed early -     It may sound simple, because it is that simple. Getting six to eight hours of solid, uninterrupted sleep makes all the difference when getting up early and staying focused through the day. Don't make excuses that you can not sleep until after midnight. You can -- you just have to start the process early. One thing that will help you hit the racks is getting off your computer at least an hour before going to bed. Also, don’t watch TV right before going to sleep, especially the news. Let your brain have time to wind down. Read a book or write in a journal.

2. Drink Water -   Don’t go crazy and down eight glasses right before crawling in bed, otherwise you’ll be up in two hours. The point is to drink a couple glasses of water, so you’ll be hydrated throughout the night and in the morning. Dehydration will cause you to feel sluggish and only make it that much harder to wake up early. Also, avoid caffeine and alcohol. Caffeine for obvious reasons, it’s a stimulant, and while alcohol is a sedative, it commonly leads to restless sleep. Eating before bed doesn’t bother some, but for others it can cause heartburn and bad dreams. Use discretion with food, but definitely stay away from late night spicy dishes. 

3. Get up and stay up -   Get a new friend called an alarm clock and place it across the room. If the alarm clock is not your friend, (I hate alarm clocks) If the sun rises by  your bedroom window like my bedroom, open the curtains and let the morning sunlight wake you up. Set the timer on the coffee maker to start brewing. Run to the bathroom to relieve yourself and jump in the shower. The hardest part of the morning mountain climb is taking that first step out of bed. Don’t let that little voice start whispering, “Just 10 more minutes.” Ten more minutes is never enough and it will turn into another 10. Don’t hit snooze, just get up the first time. Whatever you do, don’t crawl back into bed once you’ve gotten out, no matter how inviting. Say no, to warm blankets.

4. Establish a routine -  Know what you are going to do each morning or you will just roam around your apartment wondering why you woke up so early. Make coffee, pour a glass of orange juice, brush your teeth, workout, get into the shower, check your schedule, plan your day; whatever works for you, do it the same each morning. That way you’ll get into your morning without having to think about it. Also, use an alarm clock with a battery backup to ensure a power outage doesn’t mess up your schedule. If you can, keep your routine even on the weekends even though I know it will take alot of willpower. But always remember to do what's best for you and for once, be the annoying happy-morning-person at work.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

"Smile, breathe and go slowly"

Life can be ridiculously complicated, if you let it. I suggest we simplify.
In my search of living in a life of fulfill-ness I am in constant search for calmness. Calmness of my mind and my wants. I want alot of things but I can't have it all, so I  just need to relax already. Thich Nhat Hanh’s quote, is the shortest guide to life you’ll ever need:
“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.”
If you live your life by those five words, you’ll do pretty well. In the middle of chaos, confusion and delirium I will try to breathe in deeply to calm the nerves. Smile to shock my body to react differently in the moment of stress then slowly walk away from the situation like a champion. I will try. I will try because it's important to Smile, breathe and go slowly.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


Earlier this week I had written an Ode to my beloved jeans. One can not live with out them. A dear friend had posted the most extravagant jeans that are currently on the fashion line. Vivienne Westwoods Gold jeans. Love it!
Lila L'oiseau: THE jeans...: "Hey Fashion Girls,Vivienne Westwood à dessiné pour Lee cette saison hiver 2010-11 une pure merveille...Le jeans enduit bro..."

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Je parle Francais.

First thing you do when you get to a foreign country that speaks a foreign language, is learn the foreign language before you get here. I had had French lessons before but it did not prepare me for ordering at a restaurant that was serving Belgian delicacies. I was being adventurous. There is nothing worse than starving to death and looking at the menu and having no idea what it means. I have killer instincts when I'm hungry. I say killer instincts because I mean I will kill- to- eat- anything- right- now mood swings. I turn into those scary Gremlins if I don't eat. Short people need to eat. We're feisty. Yes, great something I understand L'americain prépare. Food prepared in an American way. Fantastic, I have travelled mile across countries and sea to Europe, Brussels to have food prepared in a Belgian American way. That's not what it really means its just called L'americain prépare. 

The raw fresh beef minced to an oblivion, seasoned with salt and pepper fresh herbs, worcester sauce and onions, top off with a raw egg you mix yourself and gherkins to garnish served with those great Belgian potatoe chips (we will get to that)... Delicious.

Three Keys Theory

FEARLESS        LOVE              LIFE
I have a Three Key Theory to living a Fulfilled Life
Key 1: The key to release the fears you have inside of you.
Key 2: The key to open your heart to love and be loved
Key 3: The Key to own your own life

Key 1: Is amazing. It can open all hidden and disguised portals of Fear

Key 2: Can forgive, love and receive love and is the most powerful key of them all as it can heal broken souls

Key 3: Is the most difficult key to find, as it can not work with out Key 1 and Key 2: It can come in many forms such a spiritual enlightenment, hope, inner peace, love and many more. Its a key we are all looking for: To be. Just to alright to be you.

Eat Pray Love

Eat Pray Love. I read it a year ago recommend to me by a good friend. Now it sleeps on my bedside table again to remind me, to teach me that my journey has just begun. Don't give up on yourself. That is why Girl on the loose exists. I am on my own journey finding the fullness of me.

Thailand: My future retreat

We like to call ourselves free human beings with rights and purpose but there is something in us that still needs to ask for permission to be excellent. To be great. To need. To want. It was the guilt of wanting to have something on my own with out my love, that petrified me. I was thinking about all the responsibilities of a woman, for herself and the ones she loved and how I had to abide by them. It did not feel right because I am me and living up to everybody else's expectations would get me nowhere. In this day of age we all need some reassurance, some king of reward or permission to allow to be ourselves. Don't ask me why cause I'm working on it.

So being a true blood human bundled with nerves and days of heavy pondering. I collected the courage to ask the love of my life if, let's say hypothetically if I could go to Thailand for a month just by myself, for the pleasure of it. If it would be ok, with him. ( why I asked him, because we are one. He is my partner in crime. Every decision we make affects the other. If we both agree to the terms and conditions applied. We are ready and armed to support each other, beside I would go crazy if he wanted to go somewhere for a month with out me) He knows me very well and knows that there was nothing ever hypothetical about any of my questions. I could see the worry in his eyes. He quickly questions himself whether I am unhappy or am I planning to leave him or something twisted. In his curious smile he jokes why am I planning a trip without him. And at this moment I can not bullshit myself anymore. I say, 'Its for me. Just to see a part of the world and learn something just for me by myself'. I moved to Brussels because I wanted too, now I'm not working so, I'm restless. I need to do something in my life. I don't want to wake up and be thirty one day and say oops I missed the train cause I can hear it right now blowing the whistle. Are you in or out? Being the wise and overprotective man that he is. He takes a pause ask what I will do there. Learn Thai massage. Why? Because. He jokes "Will you be coming back?" I smile. He looks at me with a serious face and says, "If that makes you happy." I grab him in my arms and hold him so tightly and say, " That you for being you."

Europe to Southern Africa

The cheapest flight ticket from Western Europe to South Africa is from British Airways. If you want the safest, comfortable way to get to your destination. I recommend BA as I am currently planning my 16 days under the sun adventure in South Africa. 

Monday, September 13, 2010

Wish List

  1. Have 13 Birthdays a year ( I love getting candles and cake at a restaurant because its my "birthday"
  2. Learn Thai massage in Thailand
  3. Travel in Europe (Yes, everywhere as much as possible)
  4. Enjoy my girlfriends (Plan strictly traveling girl weekends)
  5. Make delicious dinners for friend
  6. Direct film again.
  7. Inspire women to do as they will (@girlondaloose)
  8. Love, love, love

Ode to my Jeans

Dear Jeans,
What would I do with out? What would I wear ? Who will make my ass look cute and legs look slimmer? Who can I wear 7 days a week and still look great? Who is there to keep me warm in winter and cool in the summer? In dirt and tear, in oil stains and wine. Only you dear jeans can survive it all. May your tough wear and tear never fade. May you always break at my knees and  always stay fashionable. May you always be true blue, black, white and all the possible colours you may like. May you always last years into my life.
Thank you for being my staple outfit.

Your dearest friend


My goal is to share with everyone all the things I ever wanted to do... and actually do them. I want to enlighten and share great adventures, failures and success. I want to prove to myself that I can do all the things I want to do. Fear and all. I am not talking about things that scare me just for the sake of adrenaline such as bungee jumping (something I will never do). 

I want to do things that I have always wanted to do and do new things I never knew I wanted to do in discovering the extension of me.

The Beginning

It is always polite to say hello and mean it with a smile. There is nothing more important to me than respect for another person. So hello and I surely pray that you are ok.  Cause if you are good. Everybody is good and then there is no need to fight or fuss about anything. I like it like that. 

So here I am I have once again joined the millions in blogging hoping I can share something with masses and maybe help me learn about my new adventures that will unfold.

I have left South African to come to Brussels in search the more-ness of me. I am a film, commercial, television and broadcast director and producer. Currently unemployed in a foreign country with all the love I need. I made the choice to be here. I made the choice to be me. I am here to learn and teach with all the women and men in world to be loosened; To let go of the fears and expectations and just be yourself.  Especially dedicated to women to join me on this journey.

As the great Luke 13:12 writes, "Women thou art loosed" I hope through my own demonstrations, trials, success and failure. May I open the opportunity for you to free yourself. To allow yourself to be the fullness of you.